In every dating workshop, I ask attendees to come up with a soulmate relationship list. Even if you’ve created a list like this before, periodically revisiting this list, or drafting up a new one is important. Here’s why it’s not just busy-work.
Periodically drafting up your list,
- Puts these ideas in the forefront of your mind. You are giving your mind a job to do in the background, and it will work on this even while you go about the rest of your life.
- Gives you the opportunity to describe and see your preferences. And you get the opportunity to refine that list. I encourage people to include everything that comes to mind about the mate and the things they do together that are fun and joyful.
- Clarifies which items on your list are truly important over time.
- Allows you release or loosen up those filters or conclusions which keep the right person out of your life. For example, you may have started out with the idea that your mate must be of the same faith, only to realize later that what you need is someone whose spiritual outlook is a plus in your life. This takes you out of what is called “outlining,” which is a tendency to micromanage the “hows” of life.
- Shores up your faith and confidence in your ability to bring your dreams into reality. You have this list to remind you of where you started and can appreciate how far you have come. It’s akin to the before and after photos that are taken with makeovers, weight-training or weight-loss programs. Even if the thing you are looking to accomplish next is in a completely different category, you have evidence of the results of your focus and tenacity.
- Assists in getting beyond what looks good on paper. How? As you look at each item on your list, ask yourself, “How will this make me happy? What will we share that I don’t have right now?” As you do, notice the joyful feelings that rise up and add this to your list. This is how your list comes to life.
- Keeps you on course while you’re dating. Pull your list out after a date and see what matches up. Add to your list anything which this new person helped you discover. Even bad dates are a plus because they help you get clear about what IS important.
There is one more thing which I have seen that this practice provides. It builds faith that the Universe or God always outdoes any list that you create. If you keep your list, you will not only see things that you have things you forgot you put down, you will also see that what you received exceeded your list.
With this outlook, the practice of list-making becomes a joy. Instead of being a once and done, it’s an intimate journey with the most important and interesting person you know, YOU!