Desire is not a Dirty Word

Last month, in Natural Awakenings magazine, I wrote about the Illusion of a Barren Love Life. Ever since, the analogy has been expanding in my mind. One idea is desire. Desire is a dirty word for many, not because of its association with lust. It’s usually connected with a lack mentality of painful longing. And yet in your spiritual and personal growth, there is always going to be an impulse to do, be and express more. Instead of dancing around desire, it would help to see it from a different perspective.

Look to Nature

This is where plants and trees can be our spiritual teachers. Although humans have the ability to choose and adapt in ways which are unnatural, a tree or plant cannot. They remind us of the innate intelligence and order in life.

Now that the weather is warming up, take a walk outside. Spring is a great time to observe. The green buds on the trees seem to suddenly appear. Birds are chirping and making their nests, and the snow (if you get snow) is watering the ground with a slow melt. Life and new growth is visible and there is a lot of activity.

You find yourself lifted up because at some level you’re observing new life and hope spring forth miraculously from what seemed to be empty or dead.

Experience and Practice Builds Confidence and Trust

If you are familiar with the trees and plants in your area, you know to expect the dogwoods or cherry trees to bloom. You even know what colors to expect. If you have a vegetable or herb garden, you may have started planting teeny, tiny tomato seeds. You are confident that the Big Boy or grape tomatoes will appear in the 60-120 days that the packaging picture and labels describe. You also know how to recognize tomato leaves and flowers, so that you don’t mistake the seedling for a weed. And what is a weed except an unwanted plant in your garden? A dandelion in the right garden becomes a spring cleansing tonic. No judgement there, right?

You have successfully moved through many a transition, mini-deaths and births. It may be a long time ago, but you were a babe before you became a child, a teen, and so on. I’m certain that there are many things about your potential that you are still discovering. And there are many abilities that you once doubted that are now taken for granted. You can leverage your success in other areas of your life to build your faith where you are still growing.

Draw Empowering Conclusions

Have you considered whether the tomato seed knows it will have tomatoes one day? Can the apple seed imagine having branches and fruit which are many times larger than the seed itself? Would the acorn believe it had enough within itself to supply the oak tree?

Each seed cannot really see itself, doesn’t know what the next step will bring, and it may not realize that its life continues through each transformation from seed to seedling, flowers to fruit, and then back to seeds again. Does this remind you of your own life?

You probably have more confidence in the seed because you have the big-picture perspective of its life. You observed the cycles of nature over your lifetime. This awareness and trust of the seed’s potential provides a minuscule peek into the intelligence that created it.

The tomato seed cannot become something other than what it is meant to be, and I doubt that it tries. It also doesn’t condemn itself when in the middle of transforming into its next stage of growth. What we would call persistence or tenacity is a seed becoming what it already is.

You are different than the seed in one significant way: You can choose to divert yourself.

And yet, even that side trip is part of your journey.

So the next time you get discouraged, that’s your clue that you’ve temporarily separated yourself from Life.

Pain’s Purpose is to Lead You Out of Separation

Any time you conclude that you are “left out” of the good in life, you are saying that you are less than that acorn, tomato or apple seed. That pain you feel is a sign that your conclusions are harmful.

Think about it for a moment. If someone were to twist your arm in the wrong direction, it would hurt. You wouldn’t tell them to keep going. You would tell them to stop and you would turn in the direction which would give relief. If the thoughts you think about yourself hurt, catch what  you’re doing to yourself and shift towards relief. You may not be able to switch on to full joy in an instant. However, you can turn in that direction. Most people find that taking a walk, calling a prayer partner, petting their dog or watching a funny show shifts their mindset. Sometimes you may need to cry or beat your pillow.

In the moment you let go of that struggle, have that cry or stop running after something, there is a peace that will settle over you. The desire is not gone, only the frenzied trying to mold life according to your will.

You may notice a silence in that peace which gives you the confidence that you used to only have after you passed through a major life transition. This is the beginning of real faith and you find yourself in joy before your dream relationship, job, or ______ becomes a reality. Omnipresence becomes an assurance that goes beyond words. Omnipotence means life is ever in your favor, no matter what you may be moving through, be it a dating desert or the construction zone for your greater yet to be.

Everything Exists Before It’s Seen

Much like you, a tree or plant has impulses and hormones prompting it into creative activity. The shoots and buds which are visible now started last year. So, that tree with the bare branches all winter was never barren. It ALWAYS has leaves. The tree didn’t question its growth. It has no choice but to comply.

With this in mind, consider yourself and your desires. Long before your parents met, your soul existed. And the fertilized ovum already had everything needed to develop into the person you are right now. And you are still growing, just not in the same way. You have desires that you understand.  They may be greater health, wealth, creativity, or love. You also have desires you do not understand fully. You find yourself pulled towards something. Or, you know you want to take a particular trip, go back to school, or turn left instead of right at an intersection. You may even have desire to let go of something that once was a big part of your life.

Desire Means It’s Time

If you can consider your desires as a response to an impulse for growth, you could say that desire is a reminder that it’s time to say yes to Life.

Unlike the tree, you have choice. You may

  1. Choose to  only believe what you see, what most call the “reality” of your life, and give up.
  2. Try to make it happen on your own. You’ll find yourself working to the point of exhaustion with little to nothing to show for it. This is akin to taping or hanging apples on a tree in the middle of winter.  The apples are out of season, and it’s possible that that tree is meant to produce another type of fruit.
  3. Trust that the desire is coming up because it’s time for something new, and you’re the one to have it. And you can place your trust in the intelligence that is maintaining the universe all the way down to your next breath. It has known what to do since the beginning of time, and it isn’t about to become stupid all of a sudden. 

You are meant to blossom, just like those tomato seeds. Although growth happens over time, has little to do with time. And the bigger the dream, the more important it is to keep track of each new growth, each reason to celebrate. So many self-help programs use before/after pictures. Even if your heart’s desire cannot be captured in a picture, take one now and keep taking one as you progress. You’ll see a brightness and a glow increase over time which has nothing to do with your age. Keeping lists and journals where you log your intentions and successes will also serve you as you step out into new intentions and adventures.

A Prayer

Before I close this post out, give yourself the gift of acknowledging that your desire is already on its way to you.

Right now, take a moment to receive and give thanks for all that is right and good in your life. And give thanks for all that is already in the works for you.  Accept that your good blesses everyone, takes from no one and inspires others to their own fulfillment. Trust that the same presence and power that keeps the planets in orbit, breathes your body for you, and maintains your wonderful physical body is also in charge of your relationships, vocation, and supply. Everything you could ever imagine–and more–is already being provided for you in the most intimate way.

Your responsibility is to look for, behold, and acknowledge this loving and generous activity of Spirit in your life. As you take each step, you know what to do at the right time and in the right way. You live your life in ever expanding grace, ease and joy. In this awareness you are drawing to you all who can love and appreciate you and all you can love and appreciate. Your awareness of your sufficiency extends to your ability to see the wholeness in others. Life not only gets good, it gets good for REAL. With joy and thanksgiving, I let this prayer go and fulfill itself in even greater ways than described. Amen.

In love and with great appreciation for all that you are,




P.S. After our last snowstorm I almost cut off the bud in this picture. Until recently, it looked as if it had been damaged by the cold. I let it grow, and viola! It proved to be lilac flowers in disguise.

Prove It for Yourself

Learn to apply these ideas to your love life with Lisa’s 4-week program Magnetize the Love You Deserve beginning on Wednesday, April 12th from wherever you are!

By | 2017-04-05T11:18:13+00:00 April 3rd, 2017|All|Comments Off on Desire is not a Dirty Word

About the Author:

Lisa is a Love Attraction and Dating coach. She helps people connect with their soulmate and create a life that they love. Ask her how to attract that special someone: (908) 605-6266 or send an email.