I thought you might enjoy a few reminders to keep your mind and heart positively-focused as you step out of the winter and into spring.
This is from the obituary of Eric Wolf, Washington Post, April 20, 2007:
“Shy and modest to a fault, he met his wife-to-be during a visit to the Bronx Zoo. The young woman realized there was more to this introverted scientist and engineer than she initially thought when he happened to comment, ‘Elephants have kind eyes.’ She told herself, ‘I’m going to marry this guy.’ She did, in 1949.” —boy meets girl: 40 Couples on How and Where They Met the One.
Your Love is Looking for You
One of the first things I mention to my clients and attendees is to be willing to believe that your love is looking for you right now. And, it’s most likely that you will meet them in a completely unexpected way. Yes, list your dream relationship and take the steps you know to take, while keeping your heart and mind open.
How You Will Meet May Have Nothing to Do with Formal Dating
The route is often indirect. Why? Surprise creates an opening for something new to happen. Think of Cupid’s arrow piercing the heart; that piercing is not literal, it speaks of vulnerability. You are most loved for what makes you feel most vulnerable or exposed.
Love works through the unexpected. Pay attention to those urges that seem out of the ordinary. For example, that cooking course you want to take could place you in the right place to bump into someone who then introduces you to your love.
Expand Your Confidence that You Get Love
Read stories and ask happy couples how they actually met, and you’ll often find that it was not through the logical path and it is certainly not limited to finding dates online. Instead of seeing yourself as looking for your right and ideal mate, know that you are magnetizing love by love you express.
The quote at the beginning is from boy meets girl: 40 Couples on How and Where They Met the One. Some stories are more inspiring than others. I really enjoyed a few in We Were Meant to Be and We Were Only Kids. You may like others. Like Life, you get to choose which ones you claim for yourself.
Take One Little Step Every Day to Expand Your Comfort Zone
Many people, especially really kind and great men, have difficulty with dating because they experience so much anxiety and fear that they cannot muster the courage to say, “Hi.” It’s often hard for their friends to believe that this is an issue. This is especially true for people who appear to be very outgoing. The little book below mentions some tips I’ve shared–mainly practice expanding your comfort zone in baby steps–and a few I haven’t. What is probably most helpful is that it’s written by a man who used these steps to help himself.
From Shy to Hi: Tame Social Anxiety, Meet New People, and Build Self-Confidence, by Michal Stawicki. It’s only $2.99 and you can get it on Kindle.