On this Earth Day, let’s take a look at the intelligence at work not only in trees and streams but also in yourself.
I am a firm believer in the inherent intelligence within everyone and everything.
This intelligence gives you dreams to guide you towards what aligns with health and harmony. And it gives you pain to guide you away from what is not good for you.
You may, from time to time, attach these feelings to people, places or things instead of understanding this guidance as your inner compass. For example, you may think a particular person is either giving you love or keeping it away from you.
And even if you make the mistake of making them your source of love or happiness, you have been so wonderfully designed that you’ll get a nudge from Life to loosen your grip. It shows up in many ways but it boils down to expecting something of someone and holding them to it.
Holding on too tightly to what you think should have happened is a signal that you have something or someone to release. This release is also called forgiveness. I don’t often use the word because too many confuse it with being a doormat.
There are two ways to release.
You will either
- Choose to release.
- Hold on until the pain makes you let go.
If you hold on for a long time, the pain will increase. It usually demonstrates first in the emotional body, then in your finances and/or physical being.
How long you hold on to something has everything to do with what you consider to be your baseline normal, mentally and emotionally.
Mind you, your normal is what you’re used to accepting. It represents the best that you currently expect for yourself. If you’re reading this now, your new normal IS already on the upswing.
As you your ability to release increases, you demonstrate that you care about how you feel. And, that you matter to you. As you show the world that you matter to you, your world conforms.
However, there is one thing that might hold you up even if you choose to let go from the beginning.
This is especially true if you have learned to discount your feelings or believe that you or how you feel doesn’t matter.
If you tend to joke about, tolerate or numb out to pain and unhappiness or you’ve been told you’re too sensitive, you will want to pay special attention to Step 1 in the list below.
Don’t worry, you don’t need to become insensitive or uncaring.
You will become more sensitive and caring towards yourself. And this love will overflow to those in your experience.
First of all, let’s take the burden away.
The actual healing of release or forgiveness is a mystery. It is not done by you.
No one has ever forgiven someone. They’ve allowed forgiveness to occur.
You allow it to happen by cleaning/clearing out the emotional gunk, over and over again until the wound fully heals. Practice the steps below with the little things, such as getting cut-off in traffic. As you recognize that it works, you can practice it on the bigger things, such as betrayal and loss.
- Feel what you’re feeling. Recognize and have compassion for your first reaction which may be anger, crying, removing yourself or just getting silent. Love yourself through it. This is practicing self-soothing, sourcing and care which means you matter to you.
- Allow yourself to release. It can be as simple as saying I am willing to release this. If you cannot do this on your own, give it or them to God.
You may want to ask someone to hold you in prayer for release. I often state that I would like to choose something which feels better. And something that feels better in the long haul is self-nurturing, never harming you or the other. And then I ask, “What is one thing I can do now to get relief or feel better? “ You’ll notice that you may go back and forth with this step, depending upon what you’re releasing. Just as with a physical wound, you just keep releasing, and then reapplying the emotional balm. At first it will be 100 times a day, then 50, then 20 and so on.
- Allow yourself to receive. You may or may not get an apology. If so, receive it. If not, state that you are willing to receive the insight, understanding or blessing/gift in the experience. Then listen and look for it. You may enlist the support of a coach, spiritual practitioner, therapist or minister.
- Heal until you can deal. Emotional reactions are similar to physical wounds in that you clean out, isolate and protect the injured area until it’s fully healed. This means if you are fresh out of a break-up, you cut off all communication including social media contact, phone, or other attempts to reconnect. Although Single parents cannot eliminate communication, you can limit it by sticking to brief and succinct emails/texts for drop-offs and pick-ups.
- Let go of pushing to fix or mend the relationship superficially. I’ve witnessed some of the most amazing healings by focusing on the inner and releasing personal interaction. The release happened internally, and then the other party did something on the outer freely and willingly.
Remind yourself to look for the good in your life, not to be good but to tip the scales towards a more balanced perspective. Also, remind yourself that when something doesn’t work out as planned that that means that better is already on its way to you.
And, even if it may not seem possible at first, you will eventually come to be thankful for the very situations or people which let you down.
Here are a few examples to consider: How many times has a delay in traffic prevented you from being in an accident? Or, what are your thoughts when you look back on that broken engagement after you’re with someone who is a much better fit for you? Do you look at your child with gratitude for your ex? Without him/her, this child would never have been born.
Much love to you always,
P.S. Check out my Events page for workshops or events which will assist you in applying these ideas in your life.