Shift Your Dating Experience Now

Two days ago, I had the pleasure of presenting to some new and familiar faces at a library lecture.
Several themes popped up during the Q&A session.

The comments described these common fears:

  1. Rejection.
  2. Repeating the past.
  3. Excluded from love.
  4. Being too old, too fat, too _____.
Our fears are like the clouds, they obscure the truth that the sun is always shining. Fear is faith in what you do not want to have happen. We always have plenty of faith. For most, it tends to be a faith that we will repeat the past, or that some harm will come to us.
For most people 70-80% of their thoughts are based in fear of what might happen or what will not happen. This fact can either make you want to run away, give up, or take a second look in a more positive light.

What’s positive about all of those negative thoughts?

 20-30% of your positive thoughts are giving you your current level of happiness. That means they’re more powerful than your negative thoughts. So, you do not need to eliminate all of your negative thoughts to have good in your life.  Instead of fighting negativity, put more attention on the positive possibilities.
It doesn’t matter whether you regret the past or anticipate repeating it the future, you are investing energy in a fantasy of what you do not want. To shift the tide of your experience, you would want to change the habitual fears and negative expectancy.

How do you change a habit? Pro-activity is key.

Increase awareness of what you are doing now.

  • A good start is to write down what you believe about love. Or, notice what you tend to say about dating, love, or your prospects. Meditation is extremely helpful in expanding awareness of the thoughts that stream through your mind.

Catch Yourself

  • Stop yourself when you catch yourself saying something negative. That’s it. Just stop it. Or, preface it with up until now ______.

Imagine the Best

  • Imagine best-case scenarios. If you’re going to have a fantasy, why not make it one that keeps you hopeful. It’s been proven that the subconscious doesn’t know the difference between fantasy and reality, and it actively seeks whatever has the greatest emotional charge. Make it a joyful feeling.
  • Entertain the possibility of what you would like to have happen. Or, at least be willing to allow for the possibility.
    What if this time someone starts a conversation with me, or what if I’m introduced to someone who is interesting?What if all of my dating and relationship experiences were opportunities for me to get clear about what I truly deserve and desire?What if my long-term single status saved me from grief and angst and let me get ready for my love without the pain?What if my love is already on their way to me?In other words, how good can it get?

Leave an Opening for Unexpected Good

  • It’s important to hold on loosely to the “how” whether it’s how you meet your love or whether you can check off all the boxes on your ideal mate list. If you do not get exactly what you’ve described, it’s because something better is being arranged for you. Letting go allows you to open up to something greater than your best dreams, never less.

Let in Help

  • Imagine that you have help, and let in help. Universal support can only come through our experience and that often means people will help you on your way. The way you know that the support is good: it flows and comes easily. It’s entirely possible that that friend you make from your hiking club may introduce you to others, making it easier for you to connect. Maybe your soulmate asks YOU out. Perhaps a stranger comes up to you and reminds you of your preciousness just when you most need the reminder.

Say Yes to Love Club™ – Support for Your Progress

The above are just a few of the things I encourage my clients to practice. Practice requires repetition (at least 32 days in a row) and reinforcement to become a new habit. If you’ve been on this earth for more than 20 years, recognize you have built up your habits over that time. You do not need that many years to create a new habit, just tenacity and support. Think about your first day behind the wheel of a car. It probably felt very awkward, maybe scary. Now it’s second nature. You probably had a class or two, and drove with an experienced driver.
Know that I am affirming with you that you DO break through whatever has kept you from forward movement.
Making a change for the better is easier when you have the right kind of support. Here are a few ways my programs (enroll below) can midwife you into love.

Meetings

Connect with community that cheers you on, boosts your self-confidence, and gets you back on track when you doubt.

A Coach with an Approach

Lisa shares what worked for her and for her clients.

SYTL Tools Online

Get a digital coaching tool which will give you practices to keep you focused and on track.

Special offers this month

As my birthday gift to you, I’m offering this month’s Say Yes to Love Club which is happening on February 12th in Clinton, NJ for only $27 ($40 value).

Join me on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14th: I will be chatting on Jennifer Urezzio’s podcast Asked and Answered by Soul. We will be talking about Letting Go Of The Fairy-tale – How To Create Powerful Real Relationships. http://tiny.cc/li1uiy

By | 2017-02-06T08:49:17+00:00 February 4th, 2017|All|Comments Off on Shift Your Dating Experience Now

About the Author:

Lisa is a Love Attraction and Dating coach. She helps people connect with their soulmate and create a life that they love. Ask her how to attract that special someone: (908) 605-6266 or send an email.