“Something amazing happened today– I saw an old classmate from grad school when I was volunteering and I got her number, I met a new friend from Mexico –she gave me her number and we are going to practice speaking Spanish together and an old friend called after many years– she lives in Charlotte NC and we will get together sometime! I get my wishes are starting to come true??? I guess more friends are coming into my life? Another friend and I will do a 5K together and she’s also coming over to watch House of Cards at my apt tomorrow 🙂 I hope more wonderful people like friends come into my life!!”
–P. K., N.C.
The message above is from someone who scheduled an exploratory call with me. During our time together, it was apparent that she was frustrated and struggling. I had asked her to think of examples where she did not have to struggle or work hard. At the time, she couldn’t think of any examples. She had worked hard for everything. And then we set an intention. Within a few days, I received this message.
What happened seems like magic yet it is very practical. New ideas, experiences and inspiration are always ready to flow through and out into your experience.
How many times have you stopped running around trying to make something happen, only to have it land in your lap? Or, maybe you were looking for a lost item and found it once you sat down to rest from searching? How many times have you met someone from your hometown while in a completely different city or country?
You may have been conditioned to believe that life is all about working hard with little reward. Or, maybe you were told that you hadn’t earned or deserved something unless you put in a lot of blood, sweat and tears.
Some ideas that get in the way of progress may be that you
- believe you have to make it happen and that you are on your own
- are over-focused on a narrowly-defined specific outcome
- have a fear of losing something dear in the process of achieving your dream
- have a judgement about those who have succeeded
- believe that your fate is to be forever excluded
- are TRYING TOO HARD
There is a big difference between pushing through and being pulled through. When an athlete runs a race they get super-focused on looking for the tiniest accomplishments. It could be as simple as completing the first mile in a race or getting to the next telephone pole. And every now and again they imagine finishing the race and wearing their medal. These small goals and the celebrations are continuous and it keeps them looking for the good.
Many are familiar with these tactics. What you may not realize is that an athlete or anyone who has a journey to complete also includes rest days. Yes, REST DAYS! A rest day is a day to let go of the goal and allow your body and your mind to catch up and get stronger.
What would a rest day look like to someone who is looking to achieve a non-athletic goal? It would be taking a short break from dating, your homework (if you are going to school) or your job search to go do something completely unrelated which is soothing and gives the mind a rest.
This gives your good an opportunity to catch up with YOU!
What you are seeking IS already seeking you. That’s what is behind the inspiration that got you started. Life has said that it’s time.
Just a tiny bit of rest can change your whole experience because it allows you to drop the idea that you have to work hard, be a martyr or effort at something to be deserving of it. This does not mean that you do nothing. It means that you are enjoying yourself along the way and you recharge your mind and body as needed. Before you know it, your life starts to change.
The whole idea is to have a structure which is flexible enough that you can stick with it long term while also having a way of measuring your progress. This, combined with your spiritual practices, works wonders. And when I speak of spiritual practices, all I’m talking about is the ability to put yourself in joy, awe and wonder. Some find it in nature, others in a church. What matters is that you find what works for you.
This approach will probably be easier in some areas of your life than others. You get to play with the idea of shifting your success with those areas that are easy into those where you are growing. Above all, be patient and kind with yourself.
Kudos to the woman who had that call with me. Her openness allowed her to demonstrate what she wanted so quickly. I know that this is just the beginning of a wonderful journey.
Love and blessings,